Chronicles of an Inspired Single Mom

Hello beautiful people and welcome back to my space where I share wonderful insights I receive from the seemingly mundane days of my life. I do hope that you, my reader, you’re doing well in all aspects of life and if you’re not then know it’s never too late to change your situation or circumstance.

So my daughter has embarked on her very first job experience attachment. She couldn’t get placement in her field of choice so she approached her old primary school and they were delighted to have her. (Crazy right! How do I have a child old enough to be out on job experience when I’m merely 21!!😄 I was laying down in the living room unwinding when it dawned on me ‘hey, Dinyka has work tomorrow.’ So I called her to inquire about what she planned on wearing. Sis came back with an outfit that I rejected in a heartbeat. The sad thing was she really thought that her choice was “IT!” Some moments passed and she returned.

Ta dahhh’

‘Sigh’…. I replied Covering my face with my hand. 🫣

She proceeded to tell me that her outfit was ok. It was fine to wear jeans to work, people don’t dress up to teach little children(The audacity)….and on and on she went. I listened intently! What rang home for me was her reminiscing of her time at said primary school when a student came in for their week attachment dressed in a tracksuit. The conversation ended with us agreeing that she could wear her outfit of choice. A black trouser, a black top and a jeans jacket and her trainers. ( I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now…read on🙃

I woke up around 2 am (my mommy bladder will not let me sleep through the night) I decided to spend some time in prayer since sleep had taken me like a thief the night before. I prayed and then decided to do some ironing. I don’t know if it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me or just me still analysing the conversation I’d had with Dinyka, but this thing would not leave my mind. I opened the wardrobe and immediately this outfit I hadn’t seen in a while caught my eye. I thought okay she will wear that.

‘Morning mom!’

“Morning Nyka! I need to speak to you for a second”. She looked at me as if she was suffering from a hangover (probably was up key-keying with her friends or on tiktok😶. I said to her, “that dress” (and I described it) “in the wardrobe, you are going to wear that, with stockings and your school shoe”. Without any hesitation she agreed. I continued to elaborate.

I said to her there is a reason why you remembered that tracksuit that student wore years ago, during their work experience. It’s because ‘ first impressions matter!’ You are not going to work in a tracksuit or in jeans unless there is an activity that requires you to dress in such attire, or that attire is appropriate for the environment in which you are working. When you go to work it is a place of business so you dress for success. I further told her there are two reasons why that child probably turned up to work dressed that way.

Who they lived with:

1. Didn’t know better
2. Didn’t care

I made it clear to my daughter that I knew better so therefore I had to do better and I care for her so much that I would not allow her to leave the house for work dressed that way. I dispelled the notion that people didn’t dress up to teach children (my colleagues dress professionally excuse me please! The cheek!). If it seemed they weren’t in business attire that day it was because they may have been doing an activity that would call for the teacher to be more casual. I also used the opportunity to esteem my profession. Teachers are professionals! This noble profession needs to be respected.

As I pondered more about this teachable moment with my daughter I thought there was a third reason why a young person would turn up to a place of business in a tracksuit.

3. Affordability- their parents could not afford work attire.

Dinyka, do you want to go to Matalan to grab a few outfits for work later today? Her face lit up. It was a resounding yes. She even showed me an example of a shirt she wanted to wear from my closet. She understood where I was coming from and per adventure she was just hauling things out of her closet because she thought I couldn’t afford to get her something at this time…no no no. She is my priority. She represents me. I was going to ensure that she had whatever she needed

Sometimes as parents we miss valuable teachable moments with our children. I could’ve ranted and insisted that she wear what I said or allowed her to wear what she wanted; but I chose to give her wise counsel because she is still a child and her perspective on certain things are a bit warped or obscured. It is my job as a mother to dispel certain notions and show her the right way. School cannot do it alone. Tiktok, although great for gathering some information, shouldn’t be her go to; and her peers……(Kamille exhales).As her parent, I am her first teacher, I should be guiding her correctly.

Keep off your phone in the people place! That’s the last piece of advice I gave her as she got out of the car.

Thanks Din (I know you’re reading my blog) for this teachable moment. Also, I want you to take the time to reflect on the fact that it was the lasting impression that you left on the staff of your old school (your character) that made them open their doors to you, so that you could complete your work experience there. I want you to know more than anything that you should always dress for success, that first impressions make lasting impressions and that no matter what job you turn up for we do it to the best of your ability.

As I close this blog post there are two thoughts that I’ve found to be true during my career. “your qualifications may get you through the door, but your character will keep you there!” I know this to be true because last year I was sent to be a supply teacher at a school. When I started out there were about 11 of us going in each day from different agencies, however as time progressed I was the only one the school kept on….my qualifications got me through the door but it was my rapport and how I kept myself that kept me there.

Parents, learning happens in everyday moments. Don’t be too busy that you miss the opportunity to impart words of wisdom to your children that will undoubtedly empower them for life. Remember that everything you do with your child is teaching them an important lesson. The question is… What are you teaching your children today?

My dearest readers, I’ve gotta love you and leave you. Comment and let me know if you think I handled this situation right. Should I have let her go to work dressed in jeans and trainers or was I justified in my decision for her to wear business attire? Comment and let me know what you would’ve done or how you dress for work and why.

Until next time….besos

P.S…..At the end of the week I’ll put some pictures on our instagram page showing how she dressed for work for the week, might even do a few as well….aight byeeee