Chronicles of an Inspired Single Mom

Me: work in a bank NEVEERRRRRRRRR!

Random Person: So where do you work now Kam?

Me: At ******** Bank

Hello my lovely ladies and gents (can’t forget my Bros who read regularly and give me feedback)! Tis another week, another £ earned and £50 spent, another week of hustle and bustle, traffic, pack lunches, never ending laundry and dishes that never wash themselves. How are you beautiful people? I hope you are ok and that the weekend will bring you some solace.

Come hither my darlings, grab your favourite drink and a blankie, Auntie Kam is about to speak from Chapter ‘Mommy Guilt’ of her book ‘Single Mommy Chronicles’.

As I am writing this blog, my current job role(PAID) (because being a mom is a job in itself) is for my Americans (Substitute Teacher) and my brits (Supply Teacher or Cover Supervisor) but for me it’s called ‘Living my best life’. Why a Supply Teacher and not a full time teacher when I am a trained teacher (went to teacher’s college in St. Lucia) with a Business Degree? To answer this question I must take you back a decade and a bit, two kids and a new mind-set and goals. Follow me…

Picture it 19 pregnant and just barely out of 6th form. The question how would I provide for this child obviously burdened my mind. Would I be able to give this baby everything he/she needs and what was I going to do for work?

By the time I had my daughter, I was employed as an untrained teacher, I wanted to go to work so badly because at that age all I could see was dollar signs and I did not want to depend on anyone for help. I considered going to work after she turned 6 weeks but through much convincing I waited until she was 3 months and started work. Being a teacher was quite demanding especially with a baby. I remember nights I would fall asleep with her on my breast and thus began the habit of sleeping in the bed with mommy. Convenience I suppose. Laziness rather…confession is good for the soul (but bare in mind having to deal with 20-30 other children in a day, mark books, nurse wounds, deal with various behaviours, heat up lunches, mark registers, and prepare extent of work, deal with parents, pointless training sessions, and dreaded staff meetings…listen!!!!! yall pay Teachers properly a beg ya…but I digress) This era of my life was fine in the sense that I had more than enough time for my daughter. Once school was on holiday so was I. I was able to attend her activities at school once I got someone to cover for me at work, help her with homework and pop into her school from time to time to ensure that all was well. No mommy guilt here!

The day of reckoning came when I took a job in a bank…teaching to banking? Banking which I professed that I would NEVERRRRR…I went from Good morning class..to Hi Mr. Doe how may I help you today? Why such a drastic and odd change in career…simply and honestly put I wasn’t sure if I was really cut out to be a teacher and I so I needed a change in environment as well as….more money. I worked as a Branch Support Officer within the bank. The difference between my salaries was $1600 which meant, I could afford to eat and feed my child(lol), she could be apart of the many clubs or activities she desired outside of school such as piano, dancing and swimming and I wouldn’t have to do odd jobs to support my income. Sounds good don’t it…it wasn’t.

My bestie told me ‘all that glitters is not gold Kam’; before I took the job and boy was she right. I remember leaving for work at 07:30 and coming home 7 pm at nights. I recall going to work for a week or more and my eye kept twitching(I later found out it was because of stress) I watched my daughter do her homework at my desk rather than in the comfort of our home because I was working late. I watched through teary eyes as she would leave with my mom(God bless grandmothers everywhere) sometimes for the weekend or sometimes for a few hours so she didn’t have to sit waiting for me to finish work. ‘Kamille wept’; because I missed seeing her through her grading exercise for taekwondo, the pictures and videos that other parents emailed me or sent via WhatsApp wasn’t the same. Asking for time to see her at sports day or attending an activity at her school was a task and definitely limited by time. Then her school had the audacity to have summer holidays. Wha me suppose to do wid ma child fa 8 weeks???? Peeps she went to summer school, vacation bible school, we went on a holiday for 2 weeks and eventually I just put her on a bus each morning and sent her over to her grandparents house. Like seriously!!!

My daughter knew it and I knew it too, Life was better when mommy was a teacher. The money from the new job made things easier but the losing of my soul and sanity to that job made everything dismal.

So back to my original question, How did I end up as a Supply Teacher? When I got pregnant with my son I decided there was no way I was gonna work in a highly stressed job and raise two children. On top of working crazy hours I had just started my degree and so I made a leap of faith, resigned and moved to England. I decided to be a stay at home mom for a while (something that I looked down on before…sigh…please forgive me). It was to date the best decision I could have made for my children. NO mommy guilt here in terms of being there for my kids; however I did feel sad at times because I couldn’t always give them certain things; but then I realised it wasn’t about the material things that I could give them but the values and morals I instilled. As a stay at home mom I got to see every first for my son. No baby sitter had to tell me he stood up, or started crawling or said dada…and that was the best feeling ever.

After completing my degree I did look for jobs within my field of study but quickly realised that I was heading back into my former life of stress, expensive childcare and potentially missing important activities. Life is short and I’m not about to make the love of money or material things cause me to miss out on wonderful opportunities with my children. So after prayer and serious thought I accepted an offer as a supply teacher. My agency works around my schedule with my children and the best part I don’t have to shove them in child care or carry work home…when I walk off the job in the afternoons my time is for my children.

Will I stay as a supply teacher..no I will not, I’m already working towards my next career (and yes it will be flexible) but in this season of my life I chose my children and showing up for them over a career. Every one is different and if you ask me about having it all…I don’t want it ALL,I just want to be the best mom I can be, to the two little souls God has blessed me with.

Whether you are balancing your career, studying or other goals with mommy, or daddy life, working a job you hate so you can feed your children, or feeling guilty because you have not shown up for your children the best way you can, or probably never even considered how your job affects your children, or just starting out as a working parent; whatever path you are on I wish you the best and implore you to make smart choices and keep the faith. It will work out in the end. Life is already tough and carrying around mommy or daddy guilt because of your career or job choice is something we want to avoid. Do what best suits your family and know its never too late to make a change. Your kids will love you for it and it’ll be a decision you won’t regret.

Until next time my lovelies….Besos