Chronicles of an Inspired Single Mom

Hey guys!!! Did you miss me😆Welcome back to another blog post. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods🥰 Today’s post is quite short and simple so Let’s jump into it!☕

Have you ever felt judged as a parent and you were honestly doing the best that you could at that particular time? Have you ever judged another parent whether outwardly or low key ? Be honest! Have you ever judged yourself as a parent? Have you ever made a statement such as my child could never or I would never do that as a parent? If you said no to these questions congratulations🎉🎊🎈keep on doing what you doing; but if you’re flawed as I am…the answer is probably yes and here is my 50p on the matter.

Actually let me hit you with a lil story first, here beginneth: Pre Covid-19 days when grocery shopping was running into the stores without taking a semi shower at the door, when kids used pester power to get that snack or toy that wasn’t on their mother’s shopping list and when your biggest worry was the chicken for $1.99 or $1.89!!!🤣😂(if u ain’t know this last struggle again congratulations!) I was out getting a few groceries one evening and whilst at the check out I saw a mother with 3 young children trying to get her groceries on the conveyor belt as well as deal with her son who was having a melt down. Now as I watched or tried to pretend that I wasn’t, I saw other people beginning to stare and what not…immediately I was moved with compassion for her. I paid for my groceries walked across to the till where she was checking out bent down and lifted her son in my arms. I became his instant aunty in that moment. I spoke to him in a cool and calming voice explaining to him what mommy was trying to do and assuring him that everything was going be ok . He looked me in my eyes, rested his head on my shoulder and stopped crying.

It would have been easy for me to do as everyone else and give scornful stares or just ignore the situation but you know what: I did what I hoped someone would do for me if I was in that position….offer help! How many times have we been that person where everything seems to be falling a part and everyone around you just looks on? How many times have you been the person seeing a parent in crisis and you sit by and turn up your nose or pass judgement?

I’ve had my time when I vowed as a parent I would or would not do xyz … I’ve also had times when I judged parents for how they disciplined their children, what they allowed their children to wear, what they fed their children etc… but you know sometimes life has a way of humbling us and sometimes we end up in these very situations or even worse. After ridding myself of such ignorance I came to the conclusion that no one is ever fully prepared for parenthood, everyone makes mistakes as parents, each child is different so your parenting style must be flexible to accommodate such and basically we learn as we go along. Even when we believe that we’ve got things figured out life throws us another curved ball and sometimes we’re just not fully equipped to handle these situations that we find ourselves in. You see some lessons you can’t learn until you’ve actually gone through the test. Forget the parenting book and magazines! At times the theory and the practical aspect of life does not coincide. So what do you do then?

1. Do not judge: do not harshly judge yourself as a parent(my son always checks me when I say I’m a terrible mother, he simply says no you’re not) or judge someone else. As I said before sometimes people are doing the best they can in that moment.
2. Take it one day at a time: learn from your experiences or the experiences of others.
3. SSSSSSSSSShhhhhhhh: if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. Before you start bad-mouthing a parent be their village offer help instead of sitting idly by criticizing.
4. Choose your battles: some days your children are going to do things that make you even question yourself as a parent, sometimes you just got to choose your battles, you don’t have to pick at everything the children do. Know when to nip things in the bud, when to have a conversation with them or just let something slide.
5. Tell your story: Each one teach one! If you’ve gone through a similar situation teach the next parent how to get through.

There is so much going on in our daily lives! Do not make things worse by adding poison to the mix…leave toxic behaviour in the past! Usher in positivity and sensitivity. Let us make parenting zone a no judgement zone…✌