Chronicles of an Inspired Single Mom

Helloooooo beautiful people!!! It’s Friday so it can only mean one thing😊 NEW BLOG POST🎉🎈🎊 Welcome back to my space…come on in relax, spare me a moment of your time as I reflect and give inspiration to both you and myself because we are all work in progress.

How you been? How’s lockdown or the new norm of life treating you? If you’re a parent are you ok? Should I send wine or offer a word of prayer for you? Let me know in the comment section how ya doing! So today’s chronicle is based on my beloved princess Dinyka.

Twas the year of our Lord and Saviour 2015 when all seemed right in the world. I was not only pretty in my face but slim in my waist😁😂🤣. Me a tender age of 26 and Dinyka 7. We were at my best friend Krissy’s wedding and it was that time when they push the tables back, brought out the good wine and everybody start acting like they have no sense…yes it was that time of the party. Anywhooo..I was getting myself some wine..not the cheap box wine or the $25 one or no this was topshelf stuff! But I digress.. I was standing at the bar waiting for the bartender to pour me a glass of wine when my Bestie Roj(yes i have two best friends😋)came to me and said “Kam come get ya child!”

I was like seriously…”wha she do now?” Well you don’t have to ask my wine mission was aborted and I went to see what this lil girl was up to. Now as I reached the dance floor I almost lost whatever lil Jesus I had left in me at that time when I saw my lil Dinyka, my princess on the floor in her good frock and stockings, split right down to di grung(ground) and was whining. Hands in the air swaying…head rocking…center of attention! I snatched her up and was like child what in the world!!!!!🤯😤 A gentleman of a certain age said “well who taught you to dance like that”..she smiled so sweetly and replied “my mom” I scoffeded quickly NAT ME!! Now you may say I overreacted or you might be thinking nothing wrong with that she was just dancing!(another time i’ll elaborate on my feelings and thoughts of this)

You see peeps I had Dinny at 19, I was not done growing up. I had a lot of maturing to do. Now looking back there are instances when I can say…ahhh I shouldn’t have said that, or done that or took her there or let her wear that! However despite my missteps I was always resolute that she would be a good child. That no one would watch her and be like ahh leave her or that’s expected of her because her mom had her when she was young. Oh no she was going to be a “good child”. But how do we get these seemingly good children though? Are certain behaviours or dispositions that children have taught or innately theirs by default? Do we truly have influence as parents or should we leave it up to chance that our child will be innately good?

I realised in that moment children are easily impressed and we must cultivate the good seeds (the attitudes, behaviours, standards, etc) that we want them to possess. This doesn’t all happen by chance. It all comes down to us as parents. It’s what I am teaching my child. I must be the first influence in her life. Not her friends or teachers or shows she watches on tv. From that moment I began to be even more careful with the things I taught her; what I’m still currently trying to instill in her. As someone once said and I hold that statement dearly to this day..”Do not teach your children anything that you’ll have to unteach”

As the years go by I see that she’s getting the lessons slowly but surely. Though at times she loses her way I remind her sometimes gently or with the sternness of an army general “Girl get it together!” I remember sometime last summer, again it was my bestie Roj who called me and said….Kam Dinny isn’t by you is she…I’m like why….she said check her whatsapp status….(This is a story for another day trust me😒)

I say all of this to say…let’s be intentional in our parenting. It’s hard but that child is your child for a reason. Try your utmost best to plant seeds that will bear good fruit. As a parent I’ve realised that we need to be selective of the people (our village) that influences or helps to shape and mold our child or children. Be very selective when choosing the godparents for your children. You want people who will instill the same good values and character that you are seeking to instill in your children. Next speak positivity into your children’s lives. I refer to my daughter as princess and thus I treat her as such. I’ve even put a wall of positive affirmations in her room so that she understands you are virtuous, strong, beautiful etc and let no one tell you any different. Too many times we have been broken down by society and sometimes even by the ones we love..but let your voice be a voice of positivity in your child’s ear, one of love and not resentment. Never be too puffed up to apologise. As parents we get it wrong sometimes or simply do not talk to our children in a loving manner. If this happens never be ashamed or too righteous to admit I was wrong or I was too harsh and I’m sorry. Trust me they will respect you more for that. Pray for them, talk with them and set boundaries or rules for them to follow. Do not just leave it to chance!

My daughter and I still dance together. Sometimes at church, other times in the confines of our home. I trust and hope that she won’t be dipping low and bringing it up slow in the people party and say mommy taught me that🤣😂..but she knows now what is appropriate and what’s not.

It’s been lovely peeps but unfortunately I’ve gotta love you and leave you…mamas gonna put on her running shoes and go run off this covid weight…till next time ..Besos😘