Chronicles of an Inspired Single Mom

Hello beautiful people! It has been a minute since I’ve graced this page. I’ve taken time out to exhale and navigate the murky waters life sometimes bring. Additionally I took some time out to revamp my Instagram page that correlates with this blog, read other mommy blogs as well as brainstorm my ideas for this blog going forward. I do apologize for the long gaps and inconsistency thus far but I promise to be more consistent and hope you enjoy the content going forward. Before I jump into today’s insightful topic, I must say thank you to all readers of my blog. So welcome back to the old readers and come on in to the new readers as well. Grab your tea, coffee or wine let’s jump into today’s insightful topic.

This topic has been brewing in my soul for some weeks now; so I hope I can do it justice….. (Clears throat) Here beginneth

Have you ever had a dream, plan, a thought, a hope that something would go a particular way but it turns out completely opposite or flat out wrong? (Like my moist, mouth watering carrot cake that I tried to make the other night, that came out like wet soggy bread?) Yeaaaaa I sometimes feel like that with this mystery called life. So many times I’ve expected something to look or go a particular way, but it hardly ever does. I can think of a few instances off the top of my head.

For starters my blog. I thought I’d blog every week with amazing ideas and belly full of laughter stories, post amazing photos of myself and kiddos (here and on Instagram) on wonderful adventures or depicting us living our best life; share recipes that seem like I was trained by Martha Stewart or be completely transparent about my life. But unfortunately I can’t live out these expectations now because of varying reasons. Walking out some expectations can definitely be challenging but I endeavour to show up the best I can in each season.

Recently my children and I travelled from cold dreary England to the warm tropical Caribbean. Awww must have been nice you say…no not really😏 ok ok I’m just kidding. But honeyyyyyy travelling now is not for the faint at heart. I kept a list of things I needed to complete before our travel date. I kept feeling like I was gonna get to the airport and and realised that I forgot a passport, to close the house properly, or to pack our drawers or perhaps one of the children ( like in my all time favourite movie ‘Home Alone”). Luckily none of these things happened.😁 However what did happen was long flights which seemed longer because we were subjected to wearing a mask for the duration of the flight, unnecessary excavating of our nostrils from numerous covid tests to show we weren’t carrying the plague, packing, repacking and unpacking suitcases, trying to juggle 6oo different activities, family members and friends but not forgetting to drink water and mind my business. A tyard 😫😪 I had thoughts of how my holiday would go, and adventures I wanted to embark on with and without the children. I wasn’t totally prepared for all that happened but I pulled on my big girl panties and rose to the occasion, many times with a smile and a brave face despite the feelings or reservations in my heart. I can still hear my bestfriend saying “This holiday didn’t happen like I pictured it!” (If she’s reading this we still have our movie to watch while sipping wine or tea!!..jus saying

But I digress…

The next point I’ll touch on is how I envisioned my life to be at this stage. Expectation: I would be settled in my career, married, home owner; living the happy ever after I was sold from my numerous fairy tale books as a child…Reality: single-mother living in a foreign land, renting, restarting her career after taking time out to complete Uni and be a stay at home mother. What a reality check!

Mother-hood has been another reality- check. To be fair I didn’t have much time to prepare for it. One minute I was studying for exams in college with my biggest worry being what I was having for lunch; next minute I was deciding whether I’d encounter a C-section or episiotomy, how quick could I start working after giving birth and childcare. Funny thing is these babies that we want so much don’t stay babies and we have to care for this human for the rest of our life regardless to whether we have the knack for motherhood or not, in sickness in health, with or without a partner, when they are good, or when they decide to tap dance on your last nerve🙄. We show up to face our realities and gradually taper our expectations.

Listening to my daughter and my niece speak one day about their future plans in terms of education, family and career really challenged me. I remember when I use to dream big but the realities of life put a spoke in my wheel. However I realised the old sayings (especially life is what you make it) are so true, and so this year I’ve decided to start dreaming again and pursuing certain goals with all my might so that my expectations and realities begin to align with each other. I’ve gotten tired of being lazy and accepting defeat when there is so much fight in me.

I’ve heard several times from different pastor’s sermons that I’ve listened to recently and other people within my circle state, ‘this is the year of Great Expectations’. So with that in mind I’ve sat and carved out a financial plan for this year, resurrected dormant talents and abilities, align with an accountability partner, set SMART goals for me to achieve and I am working tediously to make my expectations become a reality; in my career, finances, physical body, social life, relationship status, oh honey I am dreaming like my kids do with no hesitation or reservations. And I expect something good will come from all of this!

So my dear reader, you’re 40 and still working on that degree or just building your house, 25 and no children yet, 36 and in a dead end job or worse a dead end relationship, perhaps you’re in a marriage that isn’t giving what it’s meant to gave (lol my daughter says I need to stop using this term) wherever your reality finds you today be encouraged all is not lost. You hold the pen to your story. Start writing and dreaming big. Take steps towards your goals and seek help if you need to especially if you’re a single mom feeling down on your luck or out of options. Don’t settle for safe create a life that you are proud of and inspires you to make bold moves everyday. What is your expectation vs reality situation that you are facing right now? Leave me a comment

Till next time… Besos😘